


Like it Used to Be

by EverettV



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Universe, Countries Using Human Names, Domestic Violence, Human & Country Names Used, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Sad, Stubborn, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9264704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverettV/pseuds/EverettV
Summary: Antonio fights with Arthur and brings up some memories he'd like to forget... and he takes it out on his boyfriend





	1. Chapter 1

Antonio steps inside, gritting his teeth. He had a bad fight with Arthur again, and as always, the Brit had to bring up their pirating days. Lovino steps into the hallway to greet him, frowning softly when he notices how upset Antonio looks. A part of him wants to run, because he remembers what happens when he sees that look, but the other part wants to try to get Antonio to feel better. 

“Toni? Are you okay?” He asks, voice small and weak. He crosses his arms across his chest protectively, watching Antonio pace around the living room. The Spaniard looks up, turning his glare at his boyfriend. 

“No. Do I look okay to you? I don’t sit around asking stupid questions when you’re pissed off!” He shouts, making Lovino flinch. He stalks over to him, grabbing his hair and forcing him to the ground. “You’re so stupid, Lovi. So fucking stupid.” He snaps, kneeing him in the face. Lovino gasps, collapsing. He reaches up and touches his nose tenderly, tears welling into his eyes. 

“I’m sorry! I don’t know what I did this time, but I’ll fix it!” He whimpers, trying to move away from Antonio. He stops instantly at the pressure on his leg. “I’m sorry, Antonio, please! I’ll do anything, don’t hurt me.” He brings his arms up to protect his face this time, knowing better. Antonio rolls his eyes. 

“Pathetic. As always. Well, I suppose it’s not entirely your fault this time. Well, it’s not your fault Arthur started the argument, but in the end it’s your fault. You’re messy, and whiny, and bratty, and stupid. This is why I tried to give you back to Austria all those years ago, but he just wouldn’t take you. If I would have known this is how you’d be, I wouldn’t have taken you in the first place!” He snaps, grabbing Lovino by the throat and slamming him backwards into the wall. 

“You pathetic little asshole. Don’t you know how lucky you are that I love you? You don’t seem to thank me enough for keeping you around.” He tightens his grasp on Lovino’s throat. Lovino struggles, gripping his wrist tightly. He tries to breath, his body making him gasp for air. Blood runs into his open mouth during his actions. Antonio rolls his eyes and drops him to the floor. Lovino coughs and struggles to take in breaths, gripping his chest. 

“I want you to suffer for everything you did! I would’ve been happier without you! You brat!” He steps on Lovino’s ankle, once more stopping the Italian from crawling away. Lovino’s arms tremble as he holds himself up. 

“I know! Thank you for keeping me around!” He gasps out, deciding it would have been safer if he let Antonio cool off on his own. Because he still loves Antonio, when he is his normal self. This side of him is so rare, that Lovino usually doesn’t even think about it. “Thank you! I love you so much, Toni, you’re so good to me.” He whimpers, trying to keep blood from dripping on the ground again. He screams in pain when his feels his ankle crack beneath Antonio’s foot before he passes out. 

When Lovino wakes up again, he almost doesn’t remember why he’s on the ground. He slowly pushes himself up, wincing when he tries to put pressure on his ankle. Being an ex-nation doesn’t leave much ability for him to heal quickly. He limps to the bathroom, cleaning up his nose. He puts makeup on the bruises on his face and neck before wrapping his ankle tightly. Lovino looks at himself in the mirror and wonders if this is all worth it. He loves Antonio, but the pain is too much for him. He looks away, staggering and crying out in pain before using the wall to get to the kitchen. 

Antonio wakes up when he hears the cry and sits up slowly, stretching his arms over his head. He smiles brightly, wondering where Lovino is when he doesn’t see him on the other side of the bed. He doesn’t remember the events from the night before, but he’s used to having gaps in his memory. His doctor tells him that he subconsciously suppresses them, even if they are good ones. He goes out the hallway, running a hand through his hair. 

“Good morning, Lovi! Breakfast smells great! What’re you making?” He asks, reaching into the fridge to grab a tomato as a snack. Lovino jumps slightly, wincing and gripping the pan tighter. He knew Antonio would get up eventually, but he hadn’t been expecting it. He registers Antonio’s normal voice and starts to relax. 

“I’m making chorizo, eggs, and potatoes.” He whispers. “And I was gonna heat up some tortillas when I was done making everything else, because they don’t take as long.” Antonio smiles, then realizes there’s something off about Lovino. He gently wraps his arms around the Italian, watching him cooking from over his shoulder. 

“Did I upset you? I’m sorry, Lovi. I don’t know what I did if you don’t tell me.” He whispers. Lovino nods a bit, wincing. He feels tears welling into his eyes. He doesn’t want to talk about the night before. 

“Nothing. It’s fine. Go watch football or something, asshole.” He mutters, lacking the usual bite. Antonio lets go and backs off, deciding that Lovino needs to cool down. He wonders what he forgot that could possibly be upsetting Lovino so much. Antonio sits down on the couch and watches TV until Lovino calls him for breakfast. 

He steps into the room with a bright smile before pausing. “Lovi? What happened to your face?”


	2. Chapter 2

Lovino freezes at the question. He must have wiped away the cover up from his face when he cried. “I…” He looks down, shifting all his weight to his good leg. “It’s nothing, Toni, it’s really nothing. Let’s just have breakfast. C-could you get the tortillas? I left them by the stove. They’re in the towel so they don’t get cold.” He slowly sits down in his chair, trying not to jolt his ankle. Antonio watches him, eyes wide. He grabs the tortillas and sets them next to the pans of food. 

“Lovino, I know when you’re lying to me.” He whispers. “Please tell me what happened. I don’t remember anything from last night, did you get in a bar fight?” Antonio gently grabs his hand, frowning when Lovino recoils slightly, then lets him hold his hand. “Lovino… Did I do this?” He asks softly. Lovino pauses. 

“The foods getting cold.” He pulls his hand away and starts to serve himself, not really hungry but wanting to distract himself. Antonio grabs his wrist softly, wanting to get Lovino’s attention again, but let’s go as soon as the Italian flinches. 

“Lovino please, I don’t remember last night. Did I hurt you?” He whispers, feeling awful. Lovino nods after a moment, and Antonio feels tears well into his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Lovi.” He hugs him gently and buries his face in his hair. “I’m so so sorry. I… Why didn’t you fight me back? What did I do?” 

Lovino tenses in his grasp, then leans into it. These are the moments he stays for, the gentle coddling and Antonio’s soft voice. He doesn’t like when he cries, though he knew that Antonio would. “I think you broke my ankle. And you kneed me in the face and strangled me.” He whispers, reaching up to gently cup the Spaniard’s hand. Antonio frowns deeply. 

“I’m so sorry. Let’s go to the hospital, please.” He gently picks Lovino up and carries him out to the car. “The food will be there when we get back. I want to make sure your ankle heals properly.” Lovino struggles in his arms, pushing against his chest and shaking his head, starting to cry again. 

“N-no… They’re gonna give me a cast and then…” He trails off, swallowing heavily. “You get mad… And then you’ll see it and you’ll know… and you’ll hurt me worse.” He whimpers, burying his face in Antonio’s chest. Antonio stops walking, holding him tighter. He feels awful. 

“Lovino, how many times has this happened and you haven’t told me? What… What do I say to you? I don’t remember ever hurting you.” He whispers, leaning his head on Lovino’s gently. Lovino trembles violently in his arms. 

“It’s happened several times.” He whispers. “But you still tell me you love me. You tell me I’m lucky that you love me. It’s true, I’m so lucky. Please don’t worry about me, it’ll heal without a cast, please don’t take me to the hospital.” Lovino grips his shirt tightly and closes his eyes as he shakes, trembles and sobs. Antonio puts Lovino on the couch then sits beside him, raking his fingers through his hair.

“Why… Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Antonio asks softly. Lovino doesn’t respond, holding himself tightly. “Lovi… You should leave. You should move in with your brother. I can’t… I can’t hurt you anymore.” He hugs him softly. “And we’re going to the hospital for your ankle.” 

Lovino shakes his head. “N...NO! I’m not leaving!” He shouts, gripping onto Antonio tightly. “I love you too much, and the good times are too good, I can’t leave.” He whimpers, looking up at Antonio. Antonio pulls him into a soft hug. 

“I don’t understand.” He kisses the top of Lovino’s head. “How can you be so reckless with your safety?” 

“I love you… I don’t want to be anywhere else.” Lovino nuzzles into his face. “We should eat…” He stands up, whimpering softly as he limps back to the kitchen. Antonio buries his face in his hands and starts to cry softly. He’s utterly lost his appetite. He hurt the person he loves, and it’s heartbreaking.


End file.
